When I was young, my father used to tell me
that studying is a key to my own mind
and that my mind is a gateway
to my own greatness.
As I’ve grown up, I have had no reason to question
his logic: every A was the decomposition of my hard work
like a one-way arrow.
Dreams became the diagrams and print
shooting through me
with a couple of doses of adrenaline and caffeine,
and I started paying off dreams of being a doctor
with my own lack of sleep.
I never questioned Dad’s logic,
because every F was my own damned Fault.
And that was true until I got to college
where Gen Chem teaches you
how the herbicides are going to work
on a chemical level
to weed you out.
With those neurotoxins, the bricks
my father built my own mentality with
slumps on its own stilts.
I am beginning to question my sleepless mentality.
My mind with a collapsed foundation
can’t seem to house its concepts correctly.
Sometimes I have to turn the lights out
and just give it a rest already.
Final exams next week
and I am questioning Dad’s Logic: A for Awake.
Maybe I should just move on to option B.
titrate my grades so they slip a little
and build myself back up again,